Olympus TV
by Purplecow111
Summary: The television channel of the gods, where each Olympian has a show...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Basically, this is the tv channel of Olympus, and each god has been given a time slot in it, which they can fill with a tv show. Also, Every once in a while, there will be 'Demigod Hour' featuring CHB and CJ.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any PJO or HOO characters.**

 **Olympus TV**

Monday programming

11:30-12:00

Hermes' travel guide

Hermes: Hello, and welcome to 'Hermes' travel guide!' Today we will be exploring the wonders of Europe!

 _Background screen shifts into a view of map of Europe._

Hermes: In Europe, there are many tourist destinations-

George: And Rats!

Hermes:(exasperatedly) Yes George, there are a lot of rats in Europe. Now, as I was saying, there are a lot of tourist destinations in Europe. For example, the Parthenon in Ancient Greece! Ah, I remember the days when we used visit the Parthenon for fun. They had the absolute _best_ snack bar.

George: And the best prices, only $1.99 for a rat!

Hermes: George, it's about time I tell you. They never sold rats at the Parthenon.

George: ...

George: ...

George: ...

Hermes: You okay?

George: MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!

Hermes: Oh boy, look at the time! That's the end of this show. Tune back in next week for 'Hermes' travel guide'!

 **At the end of each chapter, I'm going to ask a random question, and you can answer via review.**

 **QOTD: Doughnuts or Cookies?**

 **My answer: Doughnuts**

 **Reviews make authors feel happy and update faster because of them.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If I owned any PJO or HOO characters, my name would be Rick Riordian. My name isn't Rick Riordian.**

 **AN: The vote for yesterday's QOTD is 4-1 with cookies winning. Unfortunately, only 5 people (including myself) voted yesterday. Remember to vote for today's QOTD. Also, if text is in italics, then that is an action that someone or something is doing.**

 **Monday programming: 7:30 PM -8:30 PM**

Demeter's dinner show

Demeter: Hello, and welcome to 'Demeter's dinner show'! On this show, we'll be exploring all types of dinner delicacies, and how to use grains in your meal. If you want to call into the show with suggestions, call to the number below. Now, let's get right down to the good stuff here.

 _Takes out dinner plate with a bowl on it, and in the bowl is… Cereal!_

Demeter: Now, we're going to have none of that 'save the best for last' stuff, we're going to start with the best! As everyone knows, cereal is the best of anything. The cereal in this bowl are Froot Loops, which are ideal for meals as they're one of the most filling cereals.

 _Phone rings_

Demeter: Oh, look! Our first caller!

 _Demeter picks up the phone_

Caller: CEREAL SUCKS! THIS SHOW SHOULD BE CANCELLED!

Hades: I agree.

Demeter: Cereal does not suck at all. Also- wait., Where did you come from Hades?

Hades: I came from the door. Duh.

Demeter: (Huffs) That's not what I meant, but what I did mean is how did you come in?

Hades: How did I come in? Wow, that's a stupid question. I opened the door and walked in. Boy, you have to spell everything out for this lady.

Demeter: Ok, that does it!

 _Demeter rolls up her sleeves and- beep, sorry, but we have been experiencing technical difficulties, and because of those, the rest of this program has been cancelled._

 **AN: Wow, short chapter, especially since Demeter's show was supposed to be a hour long. I guess that's what happens when the lord of the dead sabotages your tv show.**

 **Question of the day (QOTD): PJO or HOO?**

 **My answer: HOO**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Every once in a while, I'm going to do a chapter like this, with them looking for ideas.**

Apollo's POV

"C'mon, I need ideas!" I thought. Ever since I'd gotten the news that the Olympians could create tv shows on Olympus TV, I had been looking for things to put in my show. Just then, Artemis walked into the throne room, where I was sitting.

"Do you have any ideas for your tv show?" I asked.

She looked up at me and said "Of course I do. I'm doing a show about the hunters and how to join. Since they're going to air it tomorrow, I already have the film."

I laughed and said "A show about the hunters? No one's going to watch that little sis."

"Well, we'll see. Oh, and one more thing," she said.

"Yes?"

"I'M NOT YOUR LITTLE SISTER! I WAS BORN FIRST!"

"No you weren't,"

"Yes I was,"

"I'm older"

"No, I am,"

"Ah, fine. I give up," I said, "You're older,"

"You're wrong," she said automatically. "Wait.. No, you're right, I am older!"

"Ah, it's too late, you yourself said that I'm older," I said smiling.

"Oh, forget it." She said, and left the throne room.

"Yeah, that's right!" I called out to her, "It doesn't matter who's older, since I'm cooler!"

Then, suddenly, I had an amazing idea. (Well, I didn't need to put the 'amazing' in there, because if it's my idea, it's definitely going to be amazing.)

 **QOTD: Taco Bell or Chipotle?**

 **My answer: Chipotle**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tuesday programming**

 **2:30 pm- 3:00 pm**

 **The hunters of Artemis**

Artemis: Hello, and welcome to 'The hunters of Artemis'! On this show, we'll be telling you about the hunters. Now, my chief lieutenant, Thalia, will tell you the benefits of being a hunter.

Thalia: Well, there are countless reasons to join the hunters, but since we don't have too much time, I'm just going to name the most prominent.

You become immortal

You don't have to worry about any romance in your life.

You get to serve under the goddess Artemis

You get to hunt monsters.

Artemis: Right. Also, you have many powers you never had before. Now, let's talk about what a hunter does. During a normal day for us, we would wake up early each morning, at 5:30 am, and I would take 20 to 40 hunters to hunt monsters for the morning while the rest train, and then in the afternoon, around three, I take another 20 to 40 on a hunt. Then, around 9, all the hunters group up and make camp for the night, with alternating shifts to keep watch. That way, over the course of 2 to 3 days, every hunter is able to go on a hunt.

Apollo: Hey, what's up!

Artemis: (facepalm) Apollo, why are you here? I'm filming my TV show right now!

Apollo: I know. That's why I'm here. I'm on your show right now, right?

Artemis: (sighs) yes.

 _Apollo looks towards the camera,_

Apollo: Hello world!

Artemis: Apollo, you do know that you have your own tv show, don't you?

Apollo: I do? I mean- of course I do. That's a good reminder little sis.

Artemis: I'm not your little sis, I was born first! I even helped give birth to you!

Apollo: No you didn't. I'm older.

Artemis: No, I am.

Apollo: No, I am.

Artemis: I'm older.

Apollo: You're wrong.

Artemis: No I'm not.

Apollo: Yes

Artemis: No

Apollo: Yes

Artemis: AUGHH! How come everything we do ends like this?

Apollo: I don't know, but it's your fault.

Artemis: No it isn't.

Apollo: Yes it is.

Artemis: No it isn't.

Apollo: Yes it is.

Artemis: Whatever! Anyways, it's the end of this show, tune back in next week for 'Beat up Apoll-' I mean, 'The hunters of Artemis'!

 **Question of the day (QOTD): Camp Jupiter or Camp Half-blood?**

 **My answer: Camp Half-Blood**

 **AN: I hoped you laughed while reading this.**

 **Reviews make writers feel happy and make them want to write more chapters and update faster and more regularly.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own any PJO or HOO characters.**

 **AN: Sorry about not updating yesterday, I just didn't get time to write. Also, there's about a 50-50 chance there will be a chapter tomorrow. After that, updates will probably be regular.**

 **Tuesday programming**

 **6:00 PM - 7:00 PM**

 **Demigod hour**

Percy: Hello, and welcome to 'Demigod Hour'. In our first episode, we'll be looking at life in Camp Half-Blood, and Camp Jupiter.

Annabeth: Correct. Now to begin, we will be looking at the similarities and differences between the two camps. Now, we will be bringing in our expert on Camp Jupiter, Jason Grace.

Jason: Wait.. I'm on TV right now, right?

Annabeth: (facepalm) Yes.

Jason: Hi dad! Um.. I mean, Yes, at Camp Jupiter, we wake up early each morning to go to breakfast, and after that, we split up by Cohort. Over the course of a day, we have Latin class, group training, individual training, and many other things.

Annabeth: At Camp Half Blood, We basically have the same thing, except we have more individual training and less group training. Also, instead of Latin class, we have Greek class.

Leo: Hello people! What's going on here?

Annabeth: (facepalm) Please go away, we're shooting our TV show.

 _Leo looks towards the camera_

Leo: So I'm on TV right now?

Annabeth: (facepalm (AN: Wow, Annabeth is face palming a lot today.)) Yes Leo, You are on TV.

Leo: Hi everyone!

Annabeth: Leo, please leave.

Leo: Fine, I'll leave, but remember, ALL DA LADIES LUV LEO!

Annabeth: Okay, moving on,-

Conner Stoll: Hi guys, I just heard Leo saying that he was on TV, is this true?

Annabeth: Yes, it is true. Look, the camera is right there.

 _Points towards camera_

Conner: Wait a minute.. Does this mean I'm on TV?

Annabeth: Yes.

Conner: HEY TRAVIS! IN YOUR FACE! I'M ON TV AND YOU AREN'T!

Travis: You're on TV? How?

Conner: Look, the camera is right there.

Travis: Hey, now I'm on TV! My life dream!

Annabeth: OK, EVERYONE OFF THE SET!

Percy: Even me?

Annabeth: (facepalm (AN: That's the fourth time Annabeth facepalmed in this chapter)) No Percy, not you.

Connor: GOODBYE WORLD!

Connor and Travis Stoll leave the set

Annabeth: Ok, next-

Percy: Um, Annabeth? We're out of airtime.

Annabeth:..

Annabeth: ..

Percy: You okay?

Annabeth: AUUUUHGH

 **QOTD: Gods or Titans (Which one is more interesting to you)**

 **My Answer: Titans**

 **AN: I hope you liked this chapter**

 **Reviews compel writers to update regularly.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Over the chapters in this story, I've noticed that they're uncharacteristically short, so I'm going to start writing longer chapters. Also, I know I said that I will update regularly, but I didn't get any time yesterday. Ok, just one final thing. This story is going to end when each Olympian has had a TV show, and then the last chapter is an awards ceremony.**

 **Wednesday programming**

 **12:30 - 1:00 pm**

 **All about Apollo's Awesomeness**

Apollo: Hi! Welcome to the Awesomest show on Olympus tv, 'All About Apollo's Awesomeness'! Today, we will be seeing why Apollo is more awesome than Artemis. There are hundreds of reasons why Apollo is more awesome, but we don't have enough time to name them all, so we'll just name a few.

He drives the sun

He does better archery

He was born first

Everybody agrees that he's more awesome

He has a better sense of humor

He does better poetry

As you can see, Apollo is clearly more awesome than Artemis. Mov-

Artemis: This isn't true!

Apollo: What isn't true?

Artemis: Any of this. I make better poetry than you, and you're the god of poetry!

Apollo:

Oh yeah, you are wrong,

Let's see you make a haiku

I am awesome

Artemis: That was terrible, and the last line was only four syllables.

Apollo: No it wasn't, watch:

I- am- awe-some

Wait.. never mind.

Artemis:

You are wrong, I'm right,

But I guess that's expected

From someone not bright.

Hermes: I just heard some good poetry from over here. Wait… That can't be possible. This is Apollo's TV show.

Random person: Ooo, Burn,

Apollo: Hey! My poetry isn't that bad, in fact, it's awesome!

Hermes: Who recited that poem? They should be made the god of poetry.

Artemis: That was me, but I don't want to be the god of poetry, I already have so many other duties.

Apollo: I WILL REMAIN THE GOD OF POETRY! IF I'M NOT, I WILL UNLEASH SMALLPOX UPON YOU!

Hermes: Eh, ok. I'm fine with that.

Apollo: Yo- You are?

Hermes: Yes.

Apollo: Why? Smallpox will render you incapable to do your job!

Hermes: No, it won't. I got my done vaccinations last week.

Apollo: I CURSE WHOEVER INVENTED VACCINATIONS TO NEVER SPEAK POETRY AGAIN!

Hermes: Um.. You were the one to invent vaccinations.

Apollo: ..

Apollo:..

Artemis: Thank you Hermes! I've been waiting for the day this idiot curses himself!

Apollo: Oh, don't worry, you don't have to suffer from poetry withdrawal, because I can just undo the curse.

Hermes: Yeah.. About that. It's impossible to undo eternal curses, which is a curse that lasts forever.

Apollo: Dang it. Still, you don't have to worry. I put every every haiku, every limerick, every couplet, and every other poem I've ever said into a book. Just think, that's 3,000 years of poetry. Oh, and one more thing, I've enchanted the book so that it says the poems in my voice in the middle of the night! Also, just for convenience, if you lose the book, it comes back to you!

Artemis: Oh no. You are not giving me that book.

Apollo: I wasn't going to give it to you. I was going to give it to Herme-

Hermes: Oh, wow. Look at the time. I've gotta run.

 _Hermes has left the set_

Apollo: Wait! Aw.. I wanted to give that book to him. Well, Artemis, you're one lucky little sister. You get the book.

Artemis: NOOOOOOOO

Artemis: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **QOTD: Olympians or Minor gods?**

 **My answer: Minor gods**

 **There it is! This chapter was over 600 words long!**

 **Reviews= Happy authors**

 **Happy authors= More typing**

 **More typing = Regular updates**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hi! I know, I know. This chapter is late. Sorry. There. I said it, so now don't expect me to apologize anymore. Anyways, this story is going to be done after about 20 chapters, maybe more, maybe less. Okay, that's all I had to say. Here's the chapter.**

 **-Purplecow111**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any PJO characters, or the book 'Lord of the Rings'. (I needed to put that last part in the disclaimer only for this chapter)**

 **Wednesday programming**

 **8:00 - 9:00 pm**

 **Athena's book reviews**

Athena: Hello, and welcome to 'Athena's book reviews'. On this show, we will be exploring many of the classic books that have been written mortals. One such story is The Lord of the Rings. That is the book we will review today. We will start with a brief overview of the allegory shown in the book…

 _Athena goes on to explain something that is extremely confusing for half an hour…_

...Or, to put it another way, there is no allegory in the Lord of the Rings. (AN: That is not true. There is a lot of allegory in LOTR. You're WRONG Athena.)

Poseidon: Really Athena? You spent half an hour explaining something that doesn't exist?

Athena: Hey! It's a complicated topic!

Poseidon: Sure, it might have been a complicated topic, IF THE TOPIC EXISTS.

Athena: It does exist!

Poseidon: You just said it doesn't!

Athena: No I didn't! Wait.. Yes I did. Never mind.

Poseidon: Ha! I'm right, you're wrong!

Poseidon: In a sing-songy voice 'I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong.'

Athena: Aren't you being a little childish?

Poseidon: 'I'm right, you're wrong.'

Athena: Okay, that's enough, don't you think.

Poseidon: 'I'm right, you're wrong.'

Athena: You're going to keep on doing that, aren't you.

Poseidon: 'I'm right, you're wrong.'

Athena: (facepalm) Can you please stop doing that?

Poseidon: No. Oh, and did I mention that I'm right, and you're wrong?

Athena: GO AWAY!

Poseidon: No.

Athena: Fine, stay here. Anyways, we were going to talk about-

Poseidon: How I'm right and you're wrong?

Athena: No, we were going to talk about-

Poseidon: How I've been finishing your sentences extremely accurately?

Athena: NO! We were talking about the Lord of the Rings and how-

Poseidon: You have no more time on this TV show?

Athena: I don't? Dang it! It's 8:59 PM! Why did you have to sabotage my TV show?

Poseidon: Well, it's what I do. No need to thank me.

Athena: AARGH!

 **QOTD: Which Hogwarts house?**

 **My answer: Ravenclaw**

 **AN: There's the chapter!**


End file.
